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A love note to the woman we love to hate.

Her- that’s the one.Freedom

She’s totally got it all together. She’s got the guys, the money, that totally sweet job where she seems like she never actually works (how does she do that?!), and somehow her butt always looks SO GOOD no matter what she’s wearing. She’s always rolling with a bubbly and uber-social girl posse.

She doesn’t know we exist.

God, what a bitch.

You can feel a sneer rising on your lips, your shoulders curling in around tightly crossed arms, a dark cloud settling in around your head. Reels from “She’s All That” roll through your head.

She’s so cocky, so aloof. What’s she got that I don’t?

Want in on the secret?


There’s this subtle myth that abides among women (and men)::

There isn’t enough Awesome to go around.

Which means if she’s oozing Awesomeness, then you, by default, are lacking. Because she took it all, and you’re left slouching in her limelight while everyone oohs and ahhhs over just how freaking amazing she is, reading the latest self-help book and waiting for your turn to shine.

I’ve felt it:: intimidation. Shrinking, turning inward at the sight and perception of another’s beauty, grace, power, draw. Watching others fawn over her, admire her, be in awe of her, covet her. And me, invisible.

I used to let that push me away from those women- the women we love to hate because they’ve stolen our Awesome. When I saw them out dancing, I moved to the other side of the room, not wanting to be outshone.

It’s a mighty lonely place we create there, in the shadows.

“We create”- when we allow ourselves to believe this myth, the fallacy that there isn’t enough to go around. That we can’t all be completely totally superstar AWESOME. Because… the world would explode. Or something.


What if:: when we combine our forces for awesomeness, we get even more amazing?

Radical, I know.

There is an infinite amount of awesome.

And what’s more, it multiplies when Awesome loves up on Awesome. It’s physics, I tell you.

Awesome multiples when-

Rather than shrinking away in intimidated shame, we mirror another’s amazing qualities- reflect to her the glow you see in her eyes, the lightness in her manner… tell her. In precise words.

We allow her to be a mirror for us, showing us exactly what we want to love about ourselves…

We celebrate her as an archetype of what is beautiful, knowing that when one succeeds and rises up she paves the path for others to shine.

We deconstruct the fear and shame that keep us creating these separations- and come together.


So go forth and revel in your Awesome.

Share it around. Multiply it. Disperse it.

And when you meet someone who’s just dripping in it? Walk yourself right up and tell her so. Tell her why you appreciate her.

Awesomeness, squared.

The doors to Your (Im)Perfect Life are open- and we start the 23rd!

If you’re ready to start living a life that’s more than fine, to take all the books you’ve read and tips you’ve collected and start putting them into action, and to join a circle of other AWESOME women to lift each other up? This is for you.

{Check it out!}


[Photo source: Pinterest]



{ 2 comments… add one }
  • lisa September 17, 2013, 3:35 pm

    Thanks so much for this. It made me remember an Albert Einstein quote that rang & rang all the way through me: “We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty…” – Albert Einstein

    • Heather September 17, 2013, 3:43 pm

      Ah! What a gorgeous quote- “This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.” Yes. Embrace the circle of compassion and awesomeness! I’m going to tuck that one away for keeps 🙂 Thank you, Lisa!

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